Motherhood, by definition, is a crooked path of guessing,
failing, persevering and praying. It is not a journey we take alone, even
though at times, it is quite lonely. Early days are spent in constant
exhaustion and second guessing. Every day is an education – from the baby
food we choose to emergency room trips; from daycares to development milestones
– we are constantly asking ourselves whether we are doing the right
thing. In discipline, we try to train our children so they are not
a menace to society when they eventually move out and are forced to socialize beyond cyberspace….all
while praying we are not breeding contempt for us later in life. Don’t be
fooled. Even though we Moms look like we have it all together, we face every
decision like the proverbial fork in the road.
That internal struggle gets worse when those angelic faces
turn scornful and little tears transform to angry words in the teenage
years. As our children experiment with who they are, physically,
emotionally and intellectually, their laboratory is at home and parents are the
test group. Even when it is frustrating and hurtful, we still love them and forgive
them – because deep down, we remember that confusing journey ourselves.
Honestly, I still have plenty of ugly moments.
Children bring out the best and the worst in a mother. I think that is
why God made children so resilient; we need our share of forgiveness,
too. My children overlook my flashes of anger, my periods of despair, and
my too often awkward and embarrassing moments – and love me anyway. Just
when I think I have completely lost them, they hug me, or thank me, or do
something completely amazing for me.
There is little place for vanity in motherhood.
You see, Mother’s Day is only possible because of these
beautiful creatures God has given me. It isn’t about my extraordinary
abilities or endless supply of energy, patience and wisdom. It is about
the Grace of God. Somehow in his infinite mercy and grace, God decided to
gift me with the most amazing human beings to raise. And, as if their life
on Earth wasn’t enough of a miracle, he has also given them a heart for His Spirit and
has reserved an eternal place in heaven for them.
I am so thankful that God allowed me to be a mother.
Through the lens of motherhood I have gained perspective of God’s love for
me. I understand now how he hurts when I hurt; how he carries my burdens
as his own; how he wants the very best for me; and how there is nothing I can
do to make him love me more. I know this because I have His heart as my
own – and His love for my children.
In the end, though, I am just a sinner, raising other
sinners in a sin-filled world. So each day, I humble myself and look to
Christ for his power - for his love, his patience and his wisdom. And
although I may never don a cape of my own, I am thankful one day, I will wear a
crown.
2 Tim 4:8
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